Wednesday, February 16, 2011


The Gas Leak

It was a thursday in February in the city of Toronto...

It all began while I was renovating a house with my friend, Seth. I was leveling the kitchen floor when suddenly i heard frantic yelling coming from the basement. Seth had cracked a gas line while adjusting a valve. He got sprayed in the face.

I ran downstairs to find him with his hand grasping the cracked pipe holding back the leak. It was insane.

I don't remember what he was shouting now, but i turned off the boiler and ran to open the basement window and look for a shut off in the basement... couldn't find one! thought of calling 911!

I ran outside and found the shut off valve to the house under the ice and snow then scrambled upstairs and grabbed a crescent wrench and shut off the gas.

Seth released his hand from the gas leak and held it out to shake my hand... we survived!

After work, I scrubbed the days dirt off and decided to go to a hot yoga class up on Bloor Sreet. It was the last class left on my thirty days unlimited for 30 dollars pass.

I sat at the back of the class and held onto my toes for a bit. The class was packed.

The instructor, Tessa, was probably my favorite teacher at that yoga studio. She led us through some surya namaskaras and into a forward fold... Suddenly, possibly the most acrid smell ever flooded the area hot yoga studio. Woooee! Just terrible! Not within the normal range of a fart by any means! Really stinky! Like really, really bad!

"Ok, it will pass" i thought,"Stay focused" Sweat was starting to form on my forehead.

A few minutes later in downward dog the smell came back... REALLY strong! I frowned and took a quick look at the people around me. They were dealing with it pretty well. It must have been someone very close because it was strong... and bad!

Tessa moved around the class adjusting students while leading the posture sequences. She did not spend much time at all near the smell. I wanted to get out of there, BIG TIME. It was getting very hot and i was beginning to pour sweat. Every five minutes or so the smell returned... just as potent as the time before.

The young woman to my left slid her mat closer to the wall and looked up at some pipes at the ceiling... Then she looked at me and I looked at the pipes and said, "gas leak?" she smiled mysteriously and settled down into childs pose.

"Who is it?" I thought... I was now sweating too much to wear a t shirt so i took it off. my whole body and my mat were covered in sweat. The young woman to my left snuck out of the studio and the smell seemed to clear up.

The class was winding down and it was time to roll around on our backs and head for savasana... My low back is a bit curved and forms a sort of giant suction cup when i am rolling on it on a wet yoga mat. The result of this 'low back suction cup' rolling on the mat was a loud farting noise... "oh great," I thought. My back made the noise three times.

The class was finally over and people were rolling up their mats. I looked over at the young woman to my right, "It wasn't me!" i whispered. She frowned...

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